I was born into a Christian family, so I followed the religion until my 20s. Then I started questioning it and slowly moved away from it.
I've never been very religious, at least not in the usual way. I don't take part in family prayer. I go to church every week, but mostly because my wife insists.
I believe in God, but in a simple way. I think of God as some kind of unseen power that helps me do good, keeps me away from bad things, and looks after me. It's something I can turn to when I have wishes or worries. Maybe it's like a friend who is wiser and stronger than me. I don't try to understand it deeply - this idea works for me, so I leave it at that.
I don't have any problem with people praying. I just don't see much value in memorizing prayers and repeating them again and again without really thinking about what they mean. I also can't focus for more than 15 minutes, so long prayers in church don't really work for me.
One thing I do like about churches is that they bring people together. They give people a chance to meet, talk, and share what's going on in their lives. I think that's a good thing. But I'm kind of an introvert, so I don't really make use of it either.
These days, when I go to church, I spend the time thinking about all the people and living beings who have been part of my life. I start from my childhood and go through them one by one.
Sometimes I remember people from my childhood who helped me in some way. Sometimes I think about people I’m very thankful for. Sometimes I remember someone I don’t really like. It’s not like I only remember people who have done good things for me - I remember everyone, even relatives and friends I’ve never actually met but have heard about through conversations.
I remember the staff at my school who gave me a yellow ball when I was crying on my first day of school, when I was five. I remember teachers, relatives, friends, neighbours, pets - anyone who has been part of my life.
In my head, it’s like a chain of people connected to each other. I start with one person, then that person reminds me of someone else, and I keep following those connections until I reach the end or run out of time. The best part is that I’ve never found an end to this process.
That's my prayer.